Coming out on National Coming Out Day in 2015 was far from what I expected or hoped would happen. Long before, and since then, I have been faced with decisions that impact how honest I let myself be with others. In retrospect, this has been an isolating and harrowing experience riddled with internalized homophobia, body dysphoria, and doubt. To the queer role models I clung too and to the others, I have been grateful to know it is thanks to y’all that I am alive and well today.
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This semester has been extremely difficult from classes, family life, finally unpacking the trauma I’ve been denying, and coming out in a new sense all over again. I am grateful for all the people who have and will to continue to hold me, support me, ration ideas and feelings, bring me chocolate soy milk, and most importantly love me despite dealing with what feels like a rollercoaster of discovering who I am. –
I still struggle to articulate who I am to others, but I’m learning that a language exists that describes me. My mentor told me the other day I have to learn how to be the “other”. I’m guessing that starts with kindness and loving myself. To do this I’m vowing to live authentically. Happy Pride 💜
(October, 2017)
